...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
