i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
