I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
