i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
