How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
barbara walters just said penis...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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