Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize