Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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