In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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