why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
