Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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