out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
