What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
