that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
