Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What a dumb baby whore.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
