We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
