He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
