i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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