I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
