So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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