There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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