Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
