Are we in a gay sports bar?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize