his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
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Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
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LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.