the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.