I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode