So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"