i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
