And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
