i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
