I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
