Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
