Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
