We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
