I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
