Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
