I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
