her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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