i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
