are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
