fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
