He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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