Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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