I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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