Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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