so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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