I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
