That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
