if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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