haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
