I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
