Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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