did you get engaged???
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
