My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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