Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
