ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize