Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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