i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I intend to get homeless drunk
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
