There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
