Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
