You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
