And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
